How Should I Start A First Sentence In A Book?
by admin on Feb.06, 2010, under Main Site
This is my first, and I am not sure if it will grab a readers eye. Bambi sat down in front of her dresser mirror and began to brush her long dark hair.
If it doesnt please tell me how to change it.Bless you for helping me.
Popularity: unranked [?]
20 Comments for this entry
Leave a Reply
-
Howdy. Welcome to Teach Me To Do!
Thanks for dropping by! Feel free to join the discussion by leaving comments, and stay updated by subscribing to the RSS feed. See ya around!
Click Here ---> Free Gifts
February 6th, 2010 on 10:43 pm
you could be like
bambi sat down and looked at herself in the mirror and started to brush her long black hair?
February 7th, 2010 on 3:41 am
Well when I read something I really like it when authors start with something like……”That was the day” or something like that. If you have an idea of what its going to be about then grab their attention with something that the character doesnt know. Say their going to be diagnosed with cancer, then it would start like this, “It was the first real day of summer break that she found out.” Or if you dont want to change it much then you could say, “She sat down and brushed herlong dark hair” because it pulls the reader to want to know who it is.
February 7th, 2010 on 6:43 am
Any way you want. Try using a thought from the character or what your reaction would be to the first few sentences. It usually works for me. Describing the setting or starting with, “Once upon a time” or “One day” is BORING. Try….
“She looked at her reflection, a sigh escaping her lips. Bambi began to brush her flowing black hair.”
Something like that. If she doesn’t like her looks, make her unhappy. If she likes them you might want to try, “She smiled at herself in the glistening mirror. Seeing more than just a person, she was seeing herself.” GET CREATIVE, and don’t be afraid to be descriptive and capturing!
February 7th, 2010 on 10:19 am
BEST ANSWER*********
Try starting it off with a feeling,quote, or interjection. For example, if Bambi was tired, you could put:
“Bambi’s reflection looked exhausted. She gently touched the dark bags under her eyes, then grabbed the comb. Her dark silk hair cascaded down her back.”
Or if Bambi was unpatient, you could put:
“The drilling sound of the woodpecker rang through Bambi’s ears. She tried to ignore it by brushing her long dark hair. The mirror showed her forehead creased and her lips down in a frown.”
Hope this helped
February 7th, 2010 on 3:03 pm
The sentence is fine , but it is not effective enough to make me read more .
Show some action ( sitting and brushing one’s hair doesn’t count ) or ask a question .
Try :
Still fuming about what happened an hour ago , Bambi sat down in front of her dresser , grabbed a brush , and pulled it through her long dark hair .
Or :
For the past three weeks , Bambi sat in front of her dresser and combed her long shiny hair , as if nothing happened .
Beginnings like that make me want to know what happened .
I’m sure you can come up with something similar that will fit your story line . Best of luck !
February 7th, 2010 on 7:05 pm
Usually something you don’t expect will be a good attention grabber. Or even starting with because, and, or, therefore. It is grammatically incorrect, therefore an attention grabber. The sentence you described would work as a first sentence but it isn’t exciting. Bambi? Why Bambi? Maybe describe the girl along with the sentence. Anyway, if that doesn’t help, sorry! But let me know what you decide to use.
February 7th, 2010 on 7:42 pm
Wow. You have one sentence.
I think you should just write until you’re done, write until the story is finished. Then, go back and read it and decide then. If you spend all your time fine-tuning certain sentences, names, places, details, anything that small, you’re just going to have a pile of story elements and nothing else. Perfecting it comes second. Writing the actual thing comes first.
February 8th, 2010 on 2:20 am
Thats nice n all but this is how i would put it.
Bambi sighed deeply as she started to brush her long dark hair in front of her old antique dresser.
Answer mine?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
February 8th, 2010 on 3:11 am
As the wind blew towards the meadow, Bambi sat in her room in front of her dresser mirror listening the the wistleling sound and began to brush her lng dark hair.
February 8th, 2010 on 3:32 am
Since we don’t know the context of your book, we can’t really tell you what to write. So far, your sentence isn’t strong. Work on it.
February 8th, 2010 on 7:30 am
describe the mirror and her origin
February 8th, 2010 on 11:24 am
“To her horror, Bambi’s long dark hair began to fall from her head during the brushing.”
February 8th, 2010 on 5:35 pm
For proper grammar, start it with a capital letter. Mine is a F.
February 8th, 2010 on 8:43 pm
THE END
write it backwards thats how all the best books are written.
February 9th, 2010 on 12:32 am
once upon a time-lol
February 9th, 2010 on 1:53 am
To calm her nerves Bambi sat down….
February 9th, 2010 on 6:19 am
Sounds fine.
I’m not really liking the name though. Reminds me of that animated deer.
February 9th, 2010 on 11:51 am
BE A BIT MORE DESCRIPTIVE
February 9th, 2010 on 1:12 pm
with a question to the reader.
February 9th, 2010 on 2:02 pm
the first sentence should be
“So there I was…back in Nam…”